Why Our Fights Are
Not About the Fight
Understanding what happens underneath conflict — inside your body — so shame softens and safety becomes possible again.
Toby and Sussan gently introduce a new way of understanding conflict in your relationship by helping you see what is happening underneath the surface.
Rather than focusing on who is right or wrong, this session helps you understand how your nervous system responds to emotional threat — and why your reactions often happen automatically. When couples understand what is happening inside their body during conflict, shame and self-blame begin to reduce, and emotional safety becomes possible again.
- Why your reactions happen before you can consciously think
- How your body signals emotional threat and safety
- Why most arguments are not actually about the topic being discussed
Practise it together.
Download today's worksheet and complete the guided body-awareness and sharing exercise together before moving on.
